An Oklahoma Highway Department employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."
The old farmer said, "OK, but don't get out in that pasture over there."
The Highway Dept. employee flashed out his identification card and said, "I have the authority of the State of Oklahoma to go any where I want. See this card? I will go wherever I wish."
So the old farmer went about his farm chores.
It wasn't too much later and the farmer heard loud screams and yelling. He looked over and saw several Highway Dept. employees running for their lives and right behind was the farmer's huge prize bull. The bull was madder than a hornet's nest and was gaining on the employee at every step.
The old farmer yelled out, "Show him your card, Smart Alec.... Show him your card!!"
wa8yxm wrote: I just read a story which included the sign:
"I you cross this field do so
In 9.9 Seconds..
Tricky can do it in 10.
That reminds me of a sign I saw on the way to my in-laws house in Hemet CA. The sign read:
"You'd better be able to cross the field in 9 seconds flat as the bull can do it in 10!"
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A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence to collect the bird, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The lawyer replied, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field. Now I'm going in to retrieve it."
The old farmer looked the lawyer in the eyes and stated firmly, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The lawyer huffed angrily, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the country. If you don't let me get my duck, I'll sue you."
The old farmer smiled. "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the Tennessee Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What's the Tennessee Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer answered, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the lawyer. His first kick to the shin had the lawyer hopping around on one foot when suddenly the farmer planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. The attorney was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to pass out.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.
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